What makes a successful mentor?

October Mentor Message

Change begins with small actions, and from these small things, great things can take place. Simple gestures like calling or texting your mentee, sending encouraging words, or letting them know you’re thinking of them build trust and friendship, which lead to more open hearts. 

Recently, I reflected on a friend struggling to meet her family’s needs. I wish I could fix everything for her, but the issues go deeper than immediate challenges. Benjamin Franklin once said, “The best way of doing good to the poor is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it.” 

Franklin, known for his generosity, started the first public hospital and volunteer fire department and gave away his stove patent to save lives. Despite his charity, he believed that making people too comfortable in their poverty hinders their motivation to change their circumstances. His insights challenge us to think about how we help others in ways that fosters long-term growth and independence. 

As mentors, we are not responsible to fix our mentee’s problems. It is easy to carry the weight of other’s choices or circumstances upon our shoulders and feel the gravity of every crisis they face. Our role is to encourage, believe in, share wise counsel, and give hope that circumstances can and will change as they don’t give up. 

Our success is not found in solving all of their problems; our success is found when they know we sincerely care and can offer assistance in complimentary ways to the progress they are making. Even still, some won’t change their course or feel any impetus to do things differently. That is ok, we love them anyway. While change is up to them, our friendship and presence in their lives makes the necessary changes easier for them to envision, knowing our guidance and support is near by. 

We won’t always have all the answers as we mentor, and we’ll make mistakes along the way, but those learning experiences will open our minds to more effective efforts as we move forward.